Reason #103 and beyond - TV moments

As Mr. and I were watching TV the other night, a character on our favorite show, Gossip Girl, did something really stupid (I can't remember the ACTUAL act - but nonetheless - I do remember it was something "Chuck" said to a girl). It was a really unwise statement, so as we watched, we both feel the need to shout at the TV when something doesn't go the way WE think it should.

So on this very night, after the character "Chuck" insulted another character, instead of calling him a typical rude insult- Mr. instead called him a "dumbbell." I just melted. It was an insult that you would use when you were in 1st grade (and maybe in the 1950s because I think 1st graders are really harsh in modern times). Mr. was cute about it, as he was so involved with the show - that his one small comment reaffirmed a hundred times over the many reasons why I love him.
To add to that fact, at the end of the show, the "villian" character's parent died - and being a 17 year old, the character did not handle it well. He would drink excessively and just had a complete meltdown. The last scene he was sitting on the bed of the girl he goes back and forth with, and he looked so pitiful. I looked over at Mr, and he was in fact, crying. And in a cracked voice, he tells me that he just feels so bad for him....again.

I don't know who my future husband is turning into - but every day he surprises me and amazes me....

A change in the world

"Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison, and the crime is how much we all hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while and admit the truth -- that when you really look closely, people are so strange and so complicated that they're actually beautiful. Possibly even me."

When you stand on that oppression line - and you look at your neighbor, you realize you both have the same insecurities - you both go to work or school each day - holding in all the anxieties from the previous. You both think you are totally alone - that no one can relate - that you will never match up, you will never be who they expect you to be - then one day - you take a look around, and you realize all t hose people you pass in the halls -they are just like you, they are hiding something deep inside. All scared to truly be themselves.

Today at work, we had a workshop a few years ago for the new students/freshman - and I have never been through something like this before. It was called Challenge Day (www.challengeday.org) I strongly encourage anyone to look this up, It truly changed my life. If we had this when I was in high school, I don't think I would have felt so alone - so isolated - so different. So many students said that day they never realized that each of their peers experienced the same pains and fears, or the same heartache.

I challenge each of you that reads this to STOP judging people - to take a look at who they really are - who they really can be. I challenge you to listen. just listen with your heart and open your eyes to the possibilities that we aren't so different after all.

*Unfortunately, not everyone sees this program as beneficial. It takes a certain type of person to loo inside themselves and try make it better. This program is no longer used in our school systems. Adminstration didn't like what message it was sending to students. And most teachers didn't want to "feel" anything - they thought it was silly and most teacher didn't understand the message. The day I found out about the cancellation, I felt letdown by our school. I was dissappointed in the adults who felt the program was a joke.**

getting a second job

I was thinking about getting a second job - because teaching pay just 'ain't covern it'. Bills and bills - I could lose myself in the pile, In addition, that I'm starting to think that weddings do not pay for themselves......

After thinking long and hard about my second career, I stumbled upon an old blog of mine when I ACTUALLY got a part-time job at a local coffee shop called Ro-Co Lounge in Boonton. I loved it. But not for the reasons most would think. I don't think I ever made more than 10 dollars a day in tips, and min wage just doesn't cut it when you are attempting to pay the mortgage.
However, I did have alot of time to think...and think. NO ONE ever came in. That is probably the sole reason I quit and they closed their doors (last drive by attempt - they turned into a lawyer's office - boo hiss - where's the coffee drinks???).

I had alot of time to write, and draw, and read...all the things that wonderfully happened during my short-lasted part-time job. This is an entry from an old blog I had - Christmas time was starting...and on this note, I am (again) going to make myself some tea.....three years later.


Wednesday, November 30, 2005

here i sit at my other job. the internet has now become my enemy bc it is the only thing i have to occupy myself. there is only so much coffee one can drink and times you can clean the expresso machine without totally loses your mind. atleast its quiet and i have time to myself - really with this new found time, i should be doing something constructive. instead, i talk online(such a high school thing to do), procrastinate work, glare at the coffee maker which burns me everytime i touch it, and text message my boyfriend - bc talking on the phone is SOO overrated.

I think of grand schemes to scheme(haha) and think about what would happen if i actually went through with one of them. i think i would fall over. that is right - i would just tilt a little to the side(you can chose left or right) and just fall straight to the ground.

im going to see how long i can type for about the most random things. and that is right - its been 50 mins since my last customer. i say PACK IT UP AND GO HOME!! but no. we are open till 8 and i could really just the extra minimum wage im making here.

i have run out of ideas to type so now i am going to go get some tea. the black kind. and no im not trying to be racial....

HOLIDAY cheer

"Christmas bells are ringing!" The sounds of Christmas music blares in all convinent stores, fancy boutiques and sometimes (if you are lucky!) music is playing sweetly down Main Streets.
Christmas time is my favorite time of the year. Between the holiday cheer and finding that "perfect" gift - I can't help but smiling :)

I have never been to a Live Nativity Scene and for some reason, this year I feel like going to one. Where can I go? That is a good question - but I have the answer! Here in Northern New Jersey, there are surprisingly alot of live Nativity scenes...

In addition to the Nativity (the true start of Christmas) I adore Christmas lights. After plugging in , what must have been over twenty lit decorations throughout my house, and about forty strands of lights outside, I turned off my regular lamps - and basked in the glow of the Christmas spirit. I sometimes wonder what my neighbors think.....

Moving away from the lights and the manger, I love Christmas for a multitude of reasons. I love the magic in the air. Yes, I still believe in Santa Claus. I believe that average people can turn someone's world around - but sadly, we only do it around the holidays. I love Christmas music. Something about all the songs I sang, rather loudly as a child, remind me of a more simple time. I love finding the "perfect" gift. I become giddy thinking about the receiver's reaction when they open up my gift.

I also love hte cookies. the piles and miles of cookies my mom and I bake. One or two days full of chocolately goodness wafting through the kitchen. I makes my mouth water just thinking about it.

Big Wig - Name this Company

In my future, my soon to be husband and I would like to have a craft room. He is too cute. He wants to have a place where we can TOGETHER do projects, even if it is me doing the crafting and he is doing the work :)
I have thought long and hard about what to name my crafty business (we have high hopes!)

Here are some of the names I came up with. Which one do you think would look the best on a label inside a handbag or shirt?

handmade cuteness
H.C.

circle circle dot dot

you are my sunshine

clementines

miss crabbypants

redfish.bluefish.

freddy

one plus one equals love

u plus me

miss fancy pants

crabbypants

gd morning love