May 21, 2009


I enjoy rereading past entries to see how I have changed, developed - molded into a new better (I hope!) version of myself.

Sometimes, it completely blows my mind that I ever was the person I was six years ago. In 2003, I was someone I don't even recognize - I look back at past blog entries, and I am saddened by the girl who sat in front of the computer screen. It takes me back to the heartache and loneliness. I can't believe I made it. I survived.

I never thought I was someone who was weak. I always felt I was a leader among my friends. I came up with the ideas, the plans - I carried them out. It amazes me that in relationships however, it was completely different. I was weak. I left the boy tell me who or what I was. nothing. I felt nothing. or everything. In high school, I remember the tears. Oh the buckets I could fill.

But now, I couldn't imagine being with someone who didn't support me or made me feel less than me. I couldn't imagine not being comfortable in my own skin due to someone else's insecurities.

I can't help but think back 0 and I find myself doing this more often these days. I think back to college, high school, past relationships - and the girl in those situations is unrecognizable.

I have my family and my future husband to thank. He gave me the courage to believe in myself. My true potential. He saw and continues to see the best in me, and made me believe that all I was previously criticized for - those are things that made him fall. I am emotional. I am silly. I am beautiful. I am me. and I don't need to be anyone else anymore.