May 09, 2010

Pity Parade Express

This post has everything to do with pity, and little to do with a party. Today is Mother's Day - and most of my life, I have spent Mother's Day in the exact fashion as the previous year, with my mom. This year is the first that I chose to go to a financial class over going to the shore with my parents. A huge part of me felt awful, because there are women across the globe that would love to spend this "Hallmark" holiday with their mothers, and can't - now I am making the chose not to. I didn't think I feel this awful or this lonely, but I do.

I also have a stepson, who recently (6 months ago) moved in with us. He is spending the day with his biological mother - something I didn't think I would give much thought to. But for some reason or another, I have been in a funk all day. Part of this is because I didn't get to spend the day with my mother, though I did take her out yesterday morning, and spoke to her three times on the phone. The other half is because when I picked up my stepson from his grandmother's house, he hasn't mentioned anything about Mother's Day.

So what really defines a mother? And can I get upset about the words, or lack thereof from a 10 year old? No. I really can't. He has loyalty to his own mother - which I deeply respect. However, I feel letdown in someway by this holiday. Mostly because it is me and my husband that have been raising him, not the mother he spent the holiday with. It is me that gets him up in the morning, reviews his HW, practices baseball with, kisses goodnight to. This is all by choice of his real mother. She made this choice - and yet, she still gets to spend the day with him.This shouldn't bother me as much as it does - but it does.

Therefore, I have been drinking the last of the wine I found in the store yesterday, called RELAX. Because that is something I need to do.

So to all the mothers out there, and by that I mean not just the ones who share the same blood type as the child - but those that are motherly figures, Happy Mother's Day to you. You are important, whether you are celebrated today or not.

Mom, I love you. Thank you for everything you have given me - the strength, the guidance, the laughter, and the understanding that I need to get my finances in order :) Without you, I wouldn't know how to even balance my checkbook (something I don't do nearly enough!).


1 hearts about my post:

Arlene said...

I am sorry you had a no fun day. Know that even though he may not have said anything, he knows how important you are in his life. You are a great step mom! Even though you did not get to spend the day with your mom, she knows how much you love her. Love you lots : )